You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
