North Korea, Best Korea!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
