i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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