i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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