We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
