DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
