Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize