it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
