i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
