hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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