I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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