some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
