I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
