it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize