I heard we made out
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
