Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
