I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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