I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i think i have herpe
just one?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
