Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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