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we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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