Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
