I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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