im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
