So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize