I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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