if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
