This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
