Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
