She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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