i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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