ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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