My brain says no but my pants say off.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
