Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
