Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize