it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
