He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
