And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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