Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
