There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
