Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
