HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
