Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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