If i come over, it means nothing
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
