Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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