Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Someone shit on the floor
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
