At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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