I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My vagina just clenched in fear
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
