Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
