I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
