i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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