reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
