Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
