Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize