i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
