I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
