I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Two words: blizzard sex
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
