i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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