If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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