My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
