dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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