I just made out with a guy for $7.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize