i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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