i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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