Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
