Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
